Q: What did the Alabama sheriff call the black guy who had been shot 15 times? He was whispering in my ear. Oh, and some of them were a leeeeettle bit naughty. A: Erotic is using a feather. . Diarrhea is hereditary, it runs in your jeans. A: It only takes one nail to hang a picture of Jesus. Let me put my hand in my pocket.
A1: Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. When do you kick a dwarf in the balls? A: Kick his sister in the jaw. Q: What's the difference between an anal thermometer and an oral thermometer? A: You can drop them off anywhere. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. A lady stood and walked to the podium.
A: They both have special needs Q: What did the banana say to the vibrator? I'm going to the bar! The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children. Q: What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water? He manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, but one day St. Q: Did you hear Lorena Bobbit just died? What do you call someone who refuses to fart in public? Two newlyweds are riding in the back of a limo on the way to their honeymoon boat cruise. Soon another girl does the same thing. Get more similar funny jokes in section Funny joke about men and women I never could bring a woman into my house. A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
He simply had a Mac. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. A: The more you play with it the harder it gets. A: By the time you're finished with the breast and thighs, all you have left is the greasy box to put your bone in. How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? All 3 wants to do something special so they set up some dates.
Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common? He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting. You see them and they make you cry. Where do you get virgin wool? A: A submarine Q: Whats long, Hard and Erects stuff? Guy: Hmmm, I've never played pai gow before. Q: Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing? I saw how he kissed your neck. He starts to feel guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home and help out.
You can do all the drugs you want. Q: What does a good bar and a good woman have in common? Q: Why did the Mafia cross the road? The ones in the casino do it more sincerely. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. Q: What does a rubix cube and a Penis have in common? A: They both stick there meat in 10 year old buns Q: How do you circumcise a hillbilly? At first, because of the parents. Q: Whats the best thing about a 18 year old girl in the shower? They both irritate the shit out of you. Politely she declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. What do you get when you cross a dyslexic, an insomniac, and an agnostic? Help yourself to a big bowl of crack.
He pulled a gun on me, robbed me, took all my money, my clothes, my car and then tied me up. Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock when he found out jill was a tranny. Good girls are bad girls who never get caught. A: They both don't work and always take your money. He spoke in a sort of energized croak, practically yelling at me from two feet away. Q: Do you know what the square root of 69 is? A: It scares the shit out of their dogs! Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. A: He didn't have any arms.
A: You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. A little girl and boy are fighting about the differences between the sexes, and which one is better. Q: What's the difference between onions and prostitutes? Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Devil: Good, because Wednesday is gambling day. Q: Why do men like big tits and a tight ass? When you open the trunk, who is happy to see you? Q: What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit? Q: How do you tell if a chick is too fat to fuck? A: They already fell for that trick once. If you force sex on a prostitute, is it rape or shoplifting? A: You can drop them off anywhere. My friend gave it to me when he was dying, it seemed very important to him that I have it.
She claimed she heard a noise in her back yard and went to investigate. The closer you get to discharge, the better you feel. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex. The idea is to die young as late as possible Don't worry about old age, it doesn't last that long. He starts screaming and crying. All these years she had no clue.
Do you see Betty Crocker written on my forehead? This beautiful woman one day walks into a doctors office and the doctor is bowled over by how stunningly awesome she is. One night, a lady stumbled int. Q: Why do black people not like to go on cruises? The trouble is, they are usually married to each other. As he's wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the Devil. Q: How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? Q: Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? Q: Why do they call it the wonder bra? How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass? After lunch, she invited me to her apartment. A: A rabbi cuts them off; A priest sucks them off Q: Why do dwarfs laugh when they play soccer? A: A trip without the kids! A bandleader fucks his singers and a gynecologist sucks his fingers.