B: The elephant is dead. But first, you each can make a final wish. Submitted by: Elise Owen, Dalian China Two goldfish in a bowl talking: Goldfish 1: Do you believe in God? What do you call bears with no ears? Why do I have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of coffee? Feed them to the lions, Peter says to himself, because lions eat anything. For at least a moment, they make the daily headaches and life's tensions disappear. Q: Name the ideal cure for dandruff? B: It's because your feet aren't empty. A: When Moses received the Tablets.
If that's the good news, then what's the bad news? The fly is on vacation. Close your eyes for a minute and think about yourself. Ha ha, what will you do now? Beauty is not based on how you look, beauty is not based on how you speak, beauty is not based on your color, but beauty is based on your inner self. Peter: Well, Daddy, we were playing Adam and Eve with the apple and all. Well, instead of tempting me with that apple, she ate the thing herself! He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn't paid for them. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds, and only had one speed, slow.
A mushroom walks into a bar. I went to her house. I think you need to take the day off. You will be amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. My girlfriend accused me of cheating.
Good Short British Jokes Locked Car - Frozen Brain When my husband and I arrived at our local Ford dealer to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. South African beer is also acceptable as they are pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. You will learn to make real chips. Because their horns don't work. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Short clean jokes Do your friends love when you post such short clean jokes on Facebook? My Bedtime Prayer to God: Dear God, please let mosquitoes bite, let there be a power cut, let the devil come in a nightmare for those who go to sleep without sending me a good night message. Teacher: What are some products of the West Indies? A person who speaks two languages is bilingual.
Today is World Intelligence day. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. Idiot will forward this joke. She wouldn't let me lick the frosting off the beaters unless they were on! Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar. Lisa Lampenelli is so ugly that her makeup mirror is equipped with front and side airbags! The reply from the railroad engineer: How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule? Later that day a new lion arrives at the zoo. Nearly 4 hours after that, Rose finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers. Blue Collar Comedy group Bill Engval learned about comedy the hard way-from Jeff Foxworthy! What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? First is to clear the exotic fish pool of weeds.
While there, Roland hired a Spanish guide to help him find the best fishing spots. It's just that I hate to see old ladies standing. And by mistake, I gave her a tube of Super Glue. Those bright eyes, beautiful smile, milky white teeth and sweet voice. The chauffeur walked to the lectern and delivered the speech. Submitted by: Girish Chavan Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. You know how it is in life.
I am the ninth letter of the alphabet. For those on a low-calorie diet,yoghurt is a boon in any case. Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts. He found Alf at his bungalow in Huddersfield stripping the wallpaper from the dining room. It's only a small party. Do you know the way to the zoo? He's wearing shorts, sunglasses, a towel and listening to music on his walkman. Submitted by: Mouhssin Father: What did you do today to help your mother? Kid: An apple a day keeps the doctor away and I just broke his window.
Please call me a taxi. Further, you will stop playing baseball. He swipes at two chimps with a spade killing them both. Without ugliness, there is no beauty in the world. The British at University A famous scientist, Arnold Nijmegen, was on his way to a lecture in yet another university, this one in Aberdeen, Scotland, when his chauffeur offered an idea. A: I have the perfect son.
My parents didn't give me any credit for intelligence. Student: Mam, yesterday you told us that it is H to O!! B: Ok A: A white horse fell in the mud. Doctor: No, I but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks. The doctor to the patient: 'You are very sick' The patient to the doctor: 'Can I get a second opinion? He found Alf at his bungalow in Huddersfield stripping the wallpaper from the dining room. Lockhart Did you hear about the skeleton who walked into a cafe? You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their deliveries. Stone Customer: Excuse me, but I saw your thumb in my soup when you were carrying it.