How do you make holy water? Q: Why can't Jesus play hockey? Q: Why do men get their great ideas in bed? Q: What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? Others have only a grain of truth, whilst the remainder are just tall stories. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised. Make me one with everything. He only comes once a year. Another good thing screwed up by a period. A policeman went down the line, asking for information from all of the prostitutes.
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A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from. Just at that moment his 7 year old daughter Emma came in through the patio door opposite, and looked down at the photographs. Q: What do you call a Mexican midget? How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex? Q: How can you tell if a blond is a good cook? A: The steaks are too high. Q: What has got two legs and bleeds? Make me one with everything. Funny sex jokes - Condom - Dad, what happens if a condom tear? Q: What's slimy cold long and smells like pork? How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? You are the wind beneath my wings. Q: How do you make an old woman start cursing? Because it has a silent pee.
A: The month of March! Q: What do you call a midget with 3 legs? A: Because everybody who can run, jump and swim are already in the U. Pearce writes mostly humorous and introspective works, as well as his musings which span from fatherhood, to dating, to life, to the people and dynamics of society. Why does a blonde smile in a lightning storm? A mushroom walks into a bar. Marlon asked the teacher to help him get his shoes on at the end of a busy day. You boil the hell out of it. Q: What do bread and autistic kids have in common? They are less popular than the one-liners, although they are still perfect to be told in the group of your adult friends.
Who has time for long jokes anyway? Call her and tell her. I ate a blonde last week. What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Q: What do you call a Chubby Midget? Can you explain it to me first? A: Because it was framed! Q: Why was the baby strawberry crying? A husband and a wife sit at the table, having dinner. Why did the stop light turn red??? An eskimo brings his friend to his home for a visit. A: At least a zit waits until you're a teenager before it cums on your face! The manifesto was read by the Queen of France and she invited the monk for a chat. A: They both stick their meat in 10-year-old buns 98. Someone who lays awake at night wondering if there really is a dog.
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They are like accurate blows below the belt and are often suitable for any company; but do not personify them, as they can sound really offensive, just like the second joke. A: He ate it before it was cool! Then all the women went along and tried to guess whose was whose. You can negotiate with a terrorist. They're already born that way. Why did God give men penises? How do you circumcise a hillbilly? A: They both only change their pads after every third period! I childproofed the house… but they still get in! My Mexican friend wrote a song about a tortilla. Q: How does a woman scare a gynecologist? A can of red paint, a can of blue paint… and a shovel. Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? They interpret everything it in their ways, but sometimes they even outdo the adults in humorous sayings.
Her favorite joke was the one in the image above. Q: What did one cannibal say to the other while they were eating a clown? Be careful, these stories are quite clear, so do not risk telling them when your children are near — they would understand everything oh, that bloody acceleration…. A: A four chin teller 149. She was frowning and the doctor asked her what was wrong. Q: Why does a Moon-rock taste better than an Earth-rock? What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing? What did they say if you came in late there? A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. Ronnie leaned forward and said in a stage whisper, 'Excuse me ladies but I can't hear.
You always told me never to talk with my mouth full. We never knew he was a drunk… until he showed up to work sober. How is life like a penis? The place is a mess, beer bottles and liquor bottles everywhere. While we aim to surprise, we never want to offend or shock you. Q: Why did the blonde take his new scarf back to the store? After this he tries the next weight loss plan, 15 pounds in a week. Why do vegetarians give good head? Tessa fights hard to keep her cool and asks Marlon why he hadn't told her before. You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q: Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool? No matter the setting, these 50 hilarious, unsavory are never entirely appropriate. Kick his sister in the jaw. Q: Why don't orphans play baseball? And a table, and a chair. A: Put it on my bill 123. The fitter arrives and assembles the cupboard. A: When he is standing next to your miss saying her hair smells nice 80.