She turned into this slob that I never knew before. So techniquely i feel like im a mother to a 16yr old and a 5yr old. My friends found out, did all they could to help, and held me accountable to get it done. If things are usually good, the key is to pinpoint what is causing the mood swings. Bonus: You need different, productive habits to stop being lazy. How do I get it across to her once and for all that if she doesn't grow up and start acting like an adult, I am leaving her ass? Woman on top is a tried and true method, and so is the squat position. That is a good start on empathy, but asking her what she wants is a better option.
It sounds like she's willing to show a 'flurry of activity' when you express displeasure. We never go out as she never wants to. I just think its something all women do, and if you really love her you'll just have to try and understand that the best you can. I get moody sometimes but at no point do I treat her like a 2nd class citizen. I am pointing out my laziness today.
She sounds stressed but I don't think you're seeing that, just your own stress and your worry about work. When you need motivating to take an action, somebody is there to hold you accountable for that action. A male reader, anonymous, writes 19 June 2007 : My girlfriend is the same in many respects. Maybe agreeing together that when the moodiness starts, the partner that is trying to help will alert the moody partner in a specific way. As for what you want when you are in a mood. If she does not, you are going to have to revise your life plans and move on with someone else who is willing to lend a hand. She can go a couple of weeks without vacuuming and leave the laundry on the dresser for two, three, four days.
If you're staying with someone because of that, you're being a super lazy girlfriend and it's time to put some effort in. She has no real motivation, and I honestly think if I weren't around she might sit in a pile of filth for months. Or she may have different ideas from yours as to what's acceptable in cleanliness and tidiness, in which case you need to continue doing what's necessary to keep the house the way you like it over and above what she considers adequate. This stuff is seldom a one-way street. Start planning your actions, breaking them into smaller tasks that are more easily achievable. Really I can say that I don't know why I have mood swings and don't know how to control them or get ride of my mood swings. A male reader, anonymous, writes 28 February 2006 : hi i have the honestly same problem i mean everything i do is just wrong to her.
It's time a lot of women grew up. This is further amplified when the laziest of the lot is your girlfriend. Still, at a moderate amount spending some time on being lazy is truly beneficial for me. Sixth, be patient, zip your lip about your expectations and wait. Tell her that her couch potato ways are not doing her physical and mental health any good, and that she needs to start being more active, mentally and physically. Insecurity for me plays a huge role and if you men do not make the effort to make us feel secure, we become resentful and angry. Asking yourself better questions tend to give better answers.
My husband is so willing and loves to do things for me, but when I ask an abundance of things from him that I am capable of doing it overwhelms him. Unfortunately, the girl I am with now has this weird moody thing going on as well. Does that mean you cook all the time or do you go out or microwave something? Let the enthusiasm, energy and motivation of others in. She blames me for her not being able to find another job or pursue a career because we Skype due to long distance. As a result, women are often not adept at giving feedback, waiting until they are upset to blurt out their disappointment.
But I took reponsibility for how I am. Talk while you're doing it - 'Do you like this? Now i leave, i don't shout or do anything, i just get in my car and go. You're both pretty perfect for each other, so well-matched that you don't even stop to realize that you don't really talk about anything of substance, or that you might not be that right for each other after all. Every other relationship you have been in had been so hard and stressful and confusing that you thought, hey, this is pretty good. Should I dump her, or keep putting up with this? Again, for that I'm starting to feel used. Im now thinkin is it worth it.
Remember that you are her best friend, partner in crime and confidante, and if you are not going to give her a wakeup call and help her get on her feet, no one else is. A male reader, anonymous, writes 6 January 2006 : My girl is like this. You should have to apoligise for being a man and having to put up with completely irrational moods and strops. They really will likely find out eventually, and the fact that you both lied will only make things even worse. But everyone that go for what they truly want and outside of their comfort zone stumbles and fails from time to time. Meeting parents, or even best friends, for the first time can be awkward and stressful. Empower her to know your body and please you.